I used to be strong. I used to be smart. I used to be pretty. I used to be pretty good all around! Now, I'm starting to see my own beauty again. I'm starting to remember how happy I used to be, how I used to believe that there was good everywhere.
Would you believe that I was only strong enough to believe that I was being emotionally abused after having my husband out of the house for a year?! It was 357 days ago that he left the house for an over the road truck driver position, and it was the best thing that has happened to me in long time. I can't say in our entire relationship because I have been blessed by two wonderful sons in that time.
Even though he went over the road, today's technology allows us to always be in contact. So he used to require that I call him at least once a day to talk for a couple of hours. And when the children and I started finally getting out of the house (now that Daddy wasn't around to stop us), he would yell at me and tell me I didn't love him because I wasn't constantly available for him. Worse yet, he started to accuse me of having an affair because I left the house.
I think one of the most interesting events of today was finding out that ten years ago he asked my daughter (at that time 5 yo) if I was cheating on him, and then told her she was stupid because she didn't know what he meant.
What has changed now? I realized that the cell phone has an off button (duh?!)... and now I haven't turned it on in over a week.... I am afraid to.
No comments:
Post a Comment